love, end of the day

Food for Thought #1 – At the End of the Day

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Yesterday, I was not in a good place mentally and all I could do is focus on that which I lacked. I wrestled with the reality of my existence, like why was I born, a question I ask myself often.

I thought about how I’m not good enough and the purposelessness of my of life. I thought about all of my flaws and how much of a failure I am regardless of my efforts.

In the midst of these things swirling around in my head however, a lyric to a song came to me, and I started singing to myself:

At the end of the day, at the end of the day he loves me
At the end of the day, at the end of the day he loves me

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    The song was familiar to me but I did not know from where, and at the time it did not matter. In that moment I realized, that God knows about all of my pain, insecurities, and inadequacies yet still, he loves me.

    So today I decided to look up the song where that lyric came from and it was “You Still Love me”, by Tasha Cobbs. I was listening to it while I was preparing for my day, and as I was, there was another verse that caught my attention, it says the following:

    And I don’t mean to be emotional,
    but sometimes I cry,
    when I think of all the pain, that I cause You inside

    And when I heard that verse I thought about all of the pain, anguish, and disdain that I feel towards myself, and I asked myself how does that make God feel?

    If God created me, put thought into my existence, and allowed so I could be born, to live out a life curated just for me; how does it make Him feel when I do not see in me the same value and worth that He sees?

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